We've moved!

Hi to both of my subscribers and anyone else who may have stumbled upon this. My family and I have moved back to where we came from. We are no longer Virginians. We are now residing in New York. I have absolutely no punch line about the transition  or where we now live because everything that can be said about New York and New Yorkers has already been said. But, here is what my driveway looked like the day that the movers came. I thought that was kind of funny:

All of our worldly possessions were scattered all over while the moving van blocked the driveway so our neighbors in the duplex could not get in or out. THAT IS FOR DRUNKENLY SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT (WHICH SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF MY 4 YEAR OLD) AND ALMOST LIGHTING THE ENTIRE BUILDING ON FIRE YOU REDNECKS! (ahh... sweet catharsis)

Anyway, here are a couple of things I miss about Virginia already.


Number 1... The woman that drives this truck:

I would get behind this truck every morning on my way to work. It always made me wonder if there was this secret competition amongst the minority populations of this country and what I was missing out on. It sounds exciting, especially if I get to start using 3 exclamation points at the end of questions instead of question marks. Do I need to start killing white male teachers so I can be in on it too?
To the lady of the truck: I think the transvestite Turkish dwarf animal inseminator has you beat.

Number 2... The person that drives this car:

I found the last Bo Bice fan in the world. He/She resides in Virginia (Stafford, County) and will one day be legend. I have photo proof that this person exists! I hope that bumper sticker holds on tight.

Number 3... The Garrisonville Wal Mart:
It was a cultural experience. Every time I walked into that place, I saw something new and unusual: The very tall man with a distinct Baltic accent who said "Have a nice day!" on the way out in the exact same tone every time; the crazy cart guy who would strike up the most random conversations with you and the uncomfortable silence after he realized you didn't know what he was talking about; the really lame grocery section; the even lamer wine and beer section; the fact that they didn't refrigerate their beer.  Sure, New York has Wal Mart, but they are all clean Super Stores now. The Garrisonville Wal Mart is one of the few holdouts for Super Store status and for that, they deserve... something.